23. Accepting Rejection

Have you not felt the terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have asked someone for something and they have rejected you. Oh what a feeling to be rejected.

Many of you spend your life avoiding rejection by not putting yourself in a place where you can be rejected. By this, We mean that you accept everything that is dished out to you and you become a victim of other people’s needs, desires and wants. To avoid the feeling of rejection you accept everything that is dished out to you.

Let Us go to a familiar scenario here. You want to invite someone to a dance. The dance is special to you, you will be amongst your friends and your peers and you would like to take someone that they feel, and you feel, is someone good on your arm. So you pluck up the courage and you ask this special someone Would you like to come to the dance with me? They say, Sorry I am busy or some other similar excuse, which all essentially mean No.

Your ego is now deflated. You wanted that person on your arm to make you feel good and to make your friends feel that you have something special that you can attract a person like that to be on your arm.

So the question is, do you feel worse now about yourself than before you made the request?

It is time now to stop and ask the question Why have they rejected you? Up to now you may have felt worthy of that rejection. You perhaps set your sights too high on someone that felt you weren’t good enough for them and that’s why they rejected you.

Perhaps they didn’t want to be seen on your arm. T hats where they are coming from. However, who is it that is rejecting you?

Do you know what they are going through in rejecting you? They may appear to be desirable to have on your arm but who are they really? They may be someone good-looking, someone vivacious, someone with a strong magnetic personality. But who are they really?

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe they don’t feel worthy of accompanying you and that the vivaciousness, good-looking appearance and strong magnetic personalities are all façades, all masks they wear to hide their own insecurities. So the person rejecting you may very well be someone rejecting themselves because they do not feel worthy to be on your arm.

Perhaps they know that should you spend an evening with them at the dance you may very well discover how insecure they are. So perhaps they would rather keep a front visible for all to see of being someone who is desirable but not attainable. They then may choose to go to the dance with someone who is equally good-looking, vivacious or has a strong personality. This person may also be insecure about themselves and their real self-worth, also hiding behind their own mask or façade.

Perhaps the two of them can bluff each other all night long whilst mirroring to each other their apparent attributes, confusing themselves that they are with people who deserve them.

So it’s time to stop to think perhaps the person who rejected you is not worthy of you. It may appear for outer appearance purposes that they are desirable but deep down they may not be so desirable when you get an opportunity to get to know them. They may just be a pretty face, a good sense of humour, and perhaps nothing much else beyond this fade.

Do you really deserve such a shallow person like that on your arm, aren’t you really glad that they rejected you?

You thought that your self-worth was affected by their rejection of you. However, no one can affect your self-worth except you. You have to give yourself permission to negatively affect your self- worth. If you give people permission to abuse you then they can affect your worthiness but not your self-worth. Only you can affect your self-worth. What other people think about you is what they think about you. What is important is what you think about you.

That is how you determine your self-worth.

So, let Us start with a list of what you are proud of in terms of yourself. Start at any place that you feel comfortable with Who You Really Are. What you are really like, what you look like, what worthiness you feel inside of you in terms of your relationships, your friendships, your integrity, and so on and so on. This is a list of what you are proud of concerning yourself. This list constitutes your self-worth. However, it is time to stop and remember Who You Really Are. You are Part of God. God is perfect and therefore the Part of God inside of you is perfect too. What greater self-worth can you have than acknowledging to yourself that part of you is Part of God.

Now you can hold your head up high. Now you can take a deep breath and feel proud of Who You Really Are.

So it is time for you to start to decide what you can do to develop your self-worth. It’s time to start to stand in your integrity and to perfect yourself in terms of your self-worth. You can start in all the areas of your life. Your consideration of others, your empathy, your giving, your loving, your compassion, are examples of all the things you really are. As you start to work on developing these areas of being the best person you can be, with what you have to work with, then your self-worth will improve and you will like, and eventually love, Who You Really Are.

If you want a sure-fire short cut to improving your self-worth then simply approach every thought, word, deed and action with What Would Love Do Now? By being love all ways and always your self-esteem will blossom and people will seek you out as you always surround them, and yourself, with love.

When you reach a place that you are proud of who you are, the thoughts that you have and the things that you do, then with this knowledge and acceptance of Who You Really Are, now you can ask someone worthy to be your partner at the dance.

It is at this point that you should realize that the person wanting to be your partner at the dance might very well not be the one with the fade that attracted you in the past. Perhaps by now you have seen past those masks to the real person behind those fades. Perhaps now as you have discovered your self-worth you can find someone, who themselves have inherent self-worth, most probably not with a pretty face, sparkling personality and great sense of humour.

Possibly someone just like you, someone sincere, someone with a high level of integrity, someone who is caring, compassionate, giving, loving, understanding. This person is a real person, maybe someone who is overlooked as they have no need to pretend to be cool and desirable. This someone probably has a great sense of Who They Really Are and they are waiting for someone like you to see how truly compatible the two of you are. Your self-worth is mirrored by their self-worth.

Now it’s time to ask that worthy person to be your partner at the dance and to have the courage of your convictions to put that worthy person on your arm. In this way, you are proclaiming to your friends and to yourself that this is the person you have selected because they reflect and resonate your worthiness back to you.

Some people may giggle, some people may laugh behind your back at your choice that may seem to be plain. However, people with integrity and people with their own well-developed self-worth and self-esteem will recognize the strength, the character that you are in making this selection. They will admire you far more than the admiration that would have come from the falseness of having someone on your arm as a trophy rather than as a true friend.

This admiration will be deeply rooted in well-meaning and will have far more meaning for your self-worth than to have some trophy person on your arm who may very well reject you either at the dance, or soon thereafter, allowing you to fall into the abyss of self-pity and reduced worthiness.

So the choice that you have made is one of finding someone equally worthy as you have become, in your self-worthiness. That choice will stand you in good stead as you further develop your self-worth.

You can start to recognize now that every rejection foisted upon you is not your issue but the other persons issue. If the person that you chose accepts to go with you to the dance, they will enhance your esteem and, ultimately, you allow it to improve your self-esteem.

If, on the other hand, this person rejects you, then your esteem should not be affected in any way because you have realized that, perhaps, that which you recognize in that person isn’t as fully developed in them as your self-esteem has become in you.

Perhaps the person is right but the timing is wrong. Perhaps at a subsequent point that persons self-worthiness will increase to match your current new self-worthiness. It is now time to find someone who is really worthy of you and your offer to be their partner at the dance.

Rejection does not serve you best when it comes from ego, however, when you come from Soul, when you remember that you are the Part of God you really are how could you be rejected? You could only be rejected by someone who has forgotten, for that moment, the Part of God that is inside of them. When the person who knows that they are also Part of God, as you are, connects with you then only acceptance is possible. God will not reject God. The Part of God inside of them can only attract the Part of God inside of you. Now you have found someone truly worthy of you, someone to take to the dance as well as, perhaps, to the dance of life.

Acceptance of rejection will serve you well as you use this opportunity to find someone truly worthy of you, whether for a dance, or as your partner through your life together.

Thank you for rejecting me, you have brought me closer to my true loved one.

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