17. I’ll Never Find Another Love Like That

I’ve had one true love and I know I’ll never find another love like that!

Really, what happened?

He loved me so much but he cheated on me and he broke my heart.

Are you still in love with him?

Yes, I am – our love was the best thing that ever happened to me.

How long ago did he break your heart?

Three years ago – to the month!

So for the past three years, how have you handled being in love with someone who broke your heart?

Well, I keep busy at work; I’ve got some girlfriends I socialize with, go to movies, plays, coffee, occasional parties with.

Meet anyone interesting that you would like to get to know better – have you made a connection with someone that could possibly lead to love?

No, not really, a few cute guys, but no one to measure up to my beloved.

The beloved being the one that broke your heart?

So that We understand – you were in love for two years?

Yes, he completed me; made me whole; made me feel like a real woman.
The sex was great, most of the time.

Ah ha! Now We are beginning to see a clearer picture emerging. Was your relationship with your beloved lustful?

Yes, we lusted after each other’s bodies.

Did he make you feel whole because there was something you lacked?

Yes, I’m shy and he made me come out of my shell.

Okay, so we have established lust – and that you needed him to feel complete.


Oh, by the way, how did it feel when you found out he cheated on you?

I was devastated! It felt like he plunged a knife into my heart. I wish I could have died.

Feeling better now three years later?

Yes, better thanks. I am not so shy and I feel I am becoming more whole.

Do you mind if we recap a bit?

No, go ahead.

Are you sure because this may be tough on you.

Listen Buster, I’ve had my tough time – when he broke my heart!

Okay, so you were in lust, you were not whole and he broke your heart?

So where was the love?

People in love do not cheat, and do not break the heart of the person they profess to love. We can be assured that he was not in love with you. Are you sure you were in love with him – not simply in lust with him?

Did he do anything to develop the parts of you that you felt were missing? Were you happy to be dependent on him to make you whole? Did you do anything to make yourself feel whole? From your responses so far, We can add dependency – not love – to the list.

To recap now – you were in lust, he made you dependent on him to make you feel whole, and he broke your heart by cheating on you.

So where was the love?

For the past five years, you have been living in the illusion that he loved you. For the first two years you were in lust with him and dependent on him holding your emotions in his hands. He then broke your heart by cheating on you. The relationship then terminated badly.

For the last three years since he left you, you carried on living in the illusion – looking through rose colored glasses – that you loved each other and that he was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Time for a reality check sister!

For over five years, 1825 days and nights, you have been living in an illusion of love. How many more days and nights do you want to waste? Are you getting any younger, any better looking, any happier?

Sorry to have to tell you this, but you are afraid of being rejected in love so you prefer to live in the illusion of past “love”. It’s a lot safer – but lonelier. You have put up barriers to falling in love. Firstly, let go of the illusion of your past “love”. Now that your hands are open, you can grasp a new, more meaningful, more real, love.

You need some lessons about falling in love.
Lucky for you, We have explored some wonderful ones right here on GuideSpeak.com.

You need to start with Worthy of Love?

Then follow it up in the order indicated below:

Worthy of Love? (Lesson 2)
Do not give “It” a life (Lesson 3)
Rage in a Relationship (Lesson 4)
Who is Your Moses? (Lesson 6)
Where does Fear come from? (Lesson 7)
Betrayal of Trust – You are not a Victim (Lesson 8)
Are you Worthy? (Lesson 9)
Everything you need is inside of you (Lesson 15)
Marriages are for Growth not for Happiness (Lesson 16)

Then re-read this lesson “I’ll Never Find Another Love Like That”. After all of that you will find out how to develop unconditional self-love – and you can become whole – you can thereafter be ready for a love relationship.

The first love relationship you will have is with yourself. Thereafter, if you so desire, with someone who is genuinely worthy to love the magnificent Being that is, or soon will be recognized as, You!

Fall in love, and stay in love, with the real You and thereafter you can find real love in a relationship with one worthy of the real You.

As you can see now, what you were clinging to was not love; it was lust, dependency, control, manipulation and heartbreak. The opposite of love!

Lucky for you that “I’ll never find another “love” like that”!

You now deserve to find real love in your wholeness, in your worthiness. You need to find someone worthy of your new found worthiness and then watch how real love grows.

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