To be rejected is to feel the loss of love. Love, which you correctly took for granted as your right to have, was taken away from you.
At the time of feeling the loss of that love you felt unworthy, empty, helpless, adrift, lonely, afraid, alone.
You felt rejected. How can you do this to me? What did I ever do to you for you to treat me so badly? What’s so wrong with me that nobody loves me? Why? Why? Why do I feel so bad?
Well, after a while, your self-preservation instinct sets in. I am going to make sure no one ever hurts me like this again. I am not going to let anyone reject me ever again. I don’t deserve to be rejected, what did I ever do wrong?
So you set about erecting emotional barriers to protect yourself from letting anyone hurt you again. You decided that trusting people to love you was a big risk so you became determined not to allow yourself to be hurt again, therefore, I won’t allow myself to be really loved again. They can like me but I won’t allow myself to be really loved again. They can like me but I won’t allow them into my vulnerable inner sacred space. Thus far but no further became your unwritten motto. Plenty of I like you but no I love you.
So, if you do not allow them to love you what about your feelings towards them? Well, I like them but I don’t love them. So you lived in a world of I like / I don’t like but love, your essence of Who You Really Are, is not allowed to enter your life.
You do not give love and you do not receive love.
You live behind your protective barriers to prevent love from entering, in case you suffer the loss of that love again and experienced rejection again. That feeling of loss of that love, that feeling of unworthiness, empty, helpless, adrift, lonely, afraid, alone.
No thanks! I never want to feel like that again, thank you very much!
How do you treat people who want to attempt to show you love?
You hold them at arm’s length without allowing them to truly embrace you in love. You use them for your purposes and then cast them aside when it suits you. You become caustic, sarcastic, scathing, sometimes downright nasty as you insult those who dare to breach your protective emotional barrier.
You develop a sharp tongue to protect you. You develop other protective shells around you. You worship other Gods in your obsession and desire to avoid rejection but to gain acceptance.
Your desire to achieve becomes disproportionate to your needs. You have to be a perfectionist, you have to get top marks, to be the best, the cleverest, the fastest, the wealthiest, the sexiest, etc., etc.!
You feed your obsession to be acceptable to people so they will accept your achievements and so praise you for what you do. This is a substitute for what you really want. You really want people to love you for Who You Really Are.
But, wait a minute. If I let you love me for who I am and you find out that I really feel unworthy, empty, helpless, adrift, lonely, afraid, alone then you might reject me.
So, I will stick to my resolve. Praise me, like me, try and even love me but I am not letting you past my protective emotional barrier.
I really want to be loved but I am so scared of being rejected and having that love taken away from me again that I am not prepared to risk it. So let me perform and achieve and be admired, respected, liked and even feared but no love. I’m too afraid of being hurt. I am, in reality, a beautiful bird in a gilded cage. Look, but don’t touch!
So how have I trained myself not to be rejected again? It’s simple, I will allow you into my outer space. I will be your friend but if, and when, you desire to cross into my inner space, I will use my well-developed powers of control and manipulation to protect me.
I will create circumstances that allow and enable me to reject you first before you can reject me. You may very well want to love me but I see that love as the first step, which eventuates, as rejection of that love when that love is taken away. Why not, it happened to me before. I have created a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are going to reject me and withdraw your love. I know this because my father/mother/brother/sister/friend/lover/spouse etc. did it to me before and it still hurts me very much.
So before you hurt me by withdrawing your love, I will protect myself by being selfish and self-centred. I will create circumstances to reject you. You don’t really love me anyway because deep down I feel unworthy of being loved. So how can you love me? You must want something from me and then you will dump me like all the rest I know your type!
Don’t love me rather admire me, praise me, respect me but love no thanks it’s too painful when it is taken away from me.
If this resonates with you while you stand in your integrity and you really want to learn how to move from this fear of rejection to the love of acceptance that you really want, then, take a few deep breaths, calm yourself down and be ready to open your heart to love.
Let Us go back to the beginning of Who You Really Are. You are a Spirit in a physical body on this place of existence you know as earth. As a Spirit you come from another plane of existence you may call heaven. It’s an acceptable term for now.
As a Spirit, you are part of Spirit/God/All That Is. Being part of God there is, inside of the body you perceive to be Who You Are, a part of God. For simplicity sake, let US call this part of God your Soul. This Soul, which comes from Spirit, is part of Spirit/God/ All That Is.
Therefore, taking a leap of faith and believing Us that you are a part of God, your perception of God will determine your perception of Who You Really Are. Is your perception of God, a God of Love or a God of Fear or a God of Control and Manipulation or a God of Rejection of Love?
If Spirit/God/All That Is is exactly that, All That Is, what kind of world would you like to live in?
A world of Love or a world of Fear?
You choose your perception of God. Is your God a God of Love or is your God a God of Fear?
If you choose Fear, as you have to date, how well has that Fear served you? Are you truly happy? Do you have everything you want and need from your life? Do you want to continue living in Fear, never knowing Love?
It’s your choice, your perception, your life, your free will. Love or Fear? A God of Love or a God of Fear. All There Is is Love or All There Is is Fear. It’s up to you choose!
If Fear has not served you all that well how about giving Love a try? After all what do you have to lose but your fear-based existence!
So, for this present moment of Now take a leap of faith and believe, truly believe, that God is Love. That Love is All There Is.
If you now believe that God is Love and that you are a Part of God – then you must be Love.
If you are Love then you no longer have to fear rejection from others of Who You Really Are – always and all ways.
If you truly are Love and you become vulnerable allowing your love to be shared and grow stronger what happens upon acceptance of that love? Well, you will find that Love is not something or something but rather something and something. Love expands and grows synergistically when it is shared. When Love is given, when Love is accepted and when Love is shared it is God creating the bond of synergy. Now when you share Love, you share God and you recognize, and remember that you are a part of God.
So, you are a part of God in your Love, the other person is a part of God in their Love and God, who is Love, is part of all of you. No wonder Love is the greatest feeling! After all, feelings are the language of your Soul!
Your acceptance of Love as being Who You Really Are will open up new vistas of hope for you.
But what about your fear of rejection?
Now that you are Love what happens when you no longer have those protective emotional barriers around you. At long last, you invite someone in who you feel wants to love you. It’s great for a while, Love is flowing but wait rejection is coming.
Oh no! Not again, I thought I would never again experience rejection! I don’t want that feeling of loss of love, feeling unworthy, empty, helpless, adrift, lonely, afraid, alone.
But wait! Who is rejecting whom? In the past, I did the rejecting now I am being rejected.
But wait! I am part of God, God is Love, I am Love.
If I am Love I cannot also be Fear. If I am not Fear then I can’t be rejected by me any-more.
I no longer reject myself and project that anticipation of rejection onto others.
I am Love. If you, the other person, want to reject my essence, which is Love, then it’s no longer my issue, it’s your issue.
I am Love, I cannot suffer rejection any-more. Rejection is fear-based, I am love-based.
If you reject me Love then its time you woke up out of your unconsciousness and realized you are acting out of fear, as I once did. The rejection that I once felt was my rejection of me protected onto you. You are now rejecting yourself and projecting it onto me.
This feeling of rejection is not mine, its yours! I am Love, Love can only be accepted, rejection is fear-based. I am Love and being Love I can help you, if you want, to understand the acceptance of Love rather than the rejection based on Fear.
Fear-based rejection no longer serves me, it’s not mine, it’s yours! I am Love accept that now!